Hello world! The “unique” title of my first blog post. Actually, it was already titled and I thought it sufficient enough to keep. This first post is unrehearsed and more than likely unrefined however this raw, unscripted post will be real and tell more about who I am.
I wanted to begin a blog several years ago. I really believe that there are some moms out there that need some encouragement and to know they are not alone. Believe me when I say there are times I have felt that I was the only one dealing with some of these struggles. Life is chaotic, and crazy, and awesome and fun all wrapped together in a large gift bag with a couple pieces of used tissue paper…
because who has time to actually wrap a gift these days?
I’m 37 years old. I have been married to an amazing husband and father since 1999. We had our beautiful baby boy in 2012. After trying for 10 years to have a baby we finally decided to try IVF and was blessed with our son on the first round. I’ve worked since I was 14 years old and always knew I would grow up and be a “successful” working mom. However when our son was born I had this pull to stay at home with him. So after 3 years of being a “successful” working mom, I quit my job and became a stay-at-home mom. I placed successful in quotations because I’m not really sure how successful I actually was. I’m sure it depends on who you talk to. But WOW! This was HUGE! So different than how I was raised and very different than what I had in mind when I was a young girl dreaming of how my adult life was going to be.
I would love to go into more detail about our IVF experience, but I’ll save that story for another time. It truly is an amazing story.
And a talk about my childhood experiences is one to really be intrigued about. Nonetheless, my adulthood has some pretty complicated and chaotic drama in itself. Of course, who doesn’t have drama in their life?
Oh my goodness…to not have DRAMA!
As much as I have tried to stay away from drama, it seems it finds me! Really? Why is this? I have asked myself and my husband if I am the one. Am I the one that starts or contributes to the drama? He tells me no however there are times I begin to wonder and then I focus on my actions and my words towards other people just to make sure. I even try to pull myself away from the situation. All in good conscience. I don’t want to be in the middle of drama, much less be the one who starts it. Sometimes it’s inevitable, yet other times you truly have to dismiss yourself from the situation altogether. Anyone with me on this?
So let’s talk about struggles. Should I list them? There are so many. Being an adult is hard. Just hard. Now, I’ll throw myself in the floor and kick and scream this out loud!
BEING AN ADULT IS HARD!
Being a wife is a little different than what I imagined. Did you imagine waking up next to your husband in your pretty pajama’s, with makeup already on and hair fixed perfectly? Where you laid next to each other in blissful love? Dinner’s by candlelight and you each looked into each other’s eyes singing love songs to each other as you never had an argument and you got everything you always wanted? Goodness, what a crazy, unrealistic belief of wedded bliss! Don’t get me wrong. We love each other with all our hearts and neither one of us can imagine life without the other, but never arguing?! And singing love songs to each other?! And waking up looking perfect?! I really feel bad sometimes for what my husband wakes up to.
Being a mom is hard! What? YES! Being a mom is HARD! Becoming a mom was HARD! I just knew after waiting 10 years to have a baby that being a mom would be euphoric. I would be the best mom ever! WRONG! I love being a mom. and Mr. B is awesome but some days I feel like the worst mom ever! Especially on those mornings when you want five more minutes of sleep and when you finally get up, your kid has raided the candy stash for breakfast. I’m sure no mother has ever let their kid eat candy for breakfast! Well, I have. And cheese crackers (no joke! He ate cheese crackers yesterday I’ll just stop there. I have plenty of examples, but why discuss those here when I can write an entire blog or two or 10 about my mean, awful mommy stories!
That’s the biggest struggles however we have recently moved my grandmother in with us so we can help take care of her, my son starts Kindergarten this year and we have decided to homeschool him. I also work part-time as a choreographer for the local youth theater and teach dance to children. Not only that, but we are involved with our church and we have a personal discipleship ministry where we try to minister one-on-one with others. Lastly, I am hoping our family can start doing service projects in our community this year volunteering with the local senior center.
I have so many plans for this blog. I’m really excited to finally get it going and hope it can be encouraging to you. Since this is my first blog post, it seems I’m all over the place. However, I wanted to give you an overview of who I really am and a bit about what you might find in my writings. I hope it is encouraging to you and that you will come back to my blog.
Life isn’t always sunshine and roses but with the rain we can jump in the puddles and other flowers smell good too.